Question: What series went off the air in 1980 despite the efforts of the Unknown Comic and Gene Gene the Dancing Machine?
Last Question: What Mel Brooks film featured characters named Princess Vespa, Pizza the Hutt and Barf?
Spaceballs was a 1987 Mel Brooks parody on Star Wars. Mel Brooks starred as President Skroob (similar to the Emperor) and also as Yogurt (of course, based on Yoda). The movie also starred Daphne Zuniga (Vision Quest, The Sure Thing, Melrose Place) as Princess Vespa, Bill Pulman as Captain Lone Starr, Rick Moranis as Dark Helmet, Joan Rivers as the voice of C-3PO-like droid Dot Matrix, and John Candy as Barf, who is a mawg (half-man, half-dog).
This and History of the World, Part I are my two favorite Mel Brooks movies. Mel Brooks movies always have great quotes, and Spaceballs does not disappoint:
– [nurse exits]
Dark Helmet: I bet she gives great helmet.
– [King Roland has given in to Dark Helmet’s threats, and is telling him the combination to the “air shield”]
Dark Helmet: One.
Colonel Sandurz: One.
Dark Helmet: Two.
Colonel Sandurz: Two.
Dark Helmet: Three.
Colonel Sandurz: Three.
Dark Helmet: Four.
Colonel Sandurz: Four.
Dark Helmet: Five.
Colonel Sandurz: Five.
Dark Helmet: So the combination is… one, two, three, four, five? That’s the stupidest combination I’ve ever heard in my life! The kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!
– Princess Vespa: I am Princess Vespa, daughter of Roland, King of the Druids.
Lone Starr: Oh great. That’s all we needed. A Druish princess.
Barf: Funny, she doesn’t look Druish.
– Lone Starr: I still don’t understand how I’m going to lift that big statue with this little ring.
Yogurt: Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz!
– Megamaid Guard: What the hell are you doing?
Lone Starr: The Vulcan neck pinch?
Megamaid Guard: No, no, no, stupid, you’ve got it much too high. It’s down here where the shoulder meets the neck.
[Lone Star changes hand position]
Lone Starr: Like this?
Megamaid Guard: Yeah!
[guard falls to the ground]
Lone Starr: Thanks.
– Lone Starr: Helmet! So, at last we meet for the first time for the last time.
– Dark Helmet: Before you die there is something you should know about us, Lone Star.
Lone Starr: What?
Dark Helmet: I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.
Lone Starr: What’s that make us?
Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.
– [Princess Vespa has been given a gun]
Princess Vespa: I ain’t shooting this thing, I hate guns.
[her hair gets singed by a laser]
Princess Vespa: My hair, he shot my hair. Son of a bitch!
– Pizza the Hutt: Well, if it isn’t Lone Star. And his sidekick, Puke.
Barf: That’s Barf.
Pizza the Hutt: Barf… Puke… *Whatever!*
– Dark Helmet: You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now let’s see how well you handle it.
– Dark Helmet: Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!
Laser Gunner: Sorry sir! I’m doing my best!
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Major Asshole: I did sir. He’s my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He’s an asshole sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What’s his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He’s an asshole too sir. Gunner’s mate First Class Philip Asshole!
Dark Helmet: How many asholes do we have on this ship, anyway?
[Entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand]
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I’m surrounded by assholes!
[Dark Helmet pulls his face shield down]
Dark Helmet: Keep firing, assholes!
– Captain of the Guard: You idiots! These are not them! You’ve captured their stunt doubles!
– Lone Starr: Who hasn’t heard of Yogurt!
Princess Vespa: Yogurt the Wise!
Dot Matrix: Yogurt the All-Powerful!
Barf: Yogurt the Magnificent!
Yogurt: Please, please, don’t make a fuss. I’m just plain Yogurt.