“Not Me” by Glenn Medeiros
Not for the reason you may think.
As many of my loyal readers may know, I served in the U.S. Navy. I went into Boot Camp in February 1989. After graduating Boot Camp, I went to San Diego to get training in the field that I would be working in – which was as a Mess management Specialist. It was basically the equivalent of a couple of years worth of going to Johnson & Whales University crammed into 8 weeks.
My New Purchase
After being in boot camp for around 10 weeks, the only music I heard was “Anchors Aweigh” (a million times). So when I got to San Diego, one of the first things I did was buy a Walkman, and some tapes. I even took time to stencil my name on the inside of the Walkman door. As for the cassettes, I bought mostly rock music such as Bon Jovi’s New Jersey, and Van Halen’s OU812. But, I also wanted music that would put me to sleep. I was not a Glenn Medeiros fan by any stretch of imagination. However, I had heard some of his music, and figured that would be perfect. So I bought Glenn Medeiros’ Not Me. And it worked. I would go to bed at night listening to my Walkman, and it would knock me right out.
A Storm is Brewing
The barracks that we slept in was full of bunk beds. I slept on the bottom bunk. One morning, my bunk-mate warned me that a scumbag, that was in our class, almost tried stealing my Walkman while I was sleeping. That pissed me off. So, I was hoping I would catch him trying it.
A day or two later, I woke up with my headphones on, but something didn’t feel right. I felt the cord to the headphones and noticed that the Walkman was missing! All that was there was the Glenn Medeiros tape!! That douche stole my Walkman!!! I have no idea how I didn’t feel it being taken away.
Nobody Steals From Me and Gets Away With It!
Now, anybody who knows me would probably best describe my personality as being “reserved”. But, when somebody not only steals from me, but steals something music related, it awakens the beast. And, I also found out that he stole headphones off of another guy that was about 3 times his size. I kept my cool though. I knew exactly who stole it, and he slept on the top bunk a little further away from me.
I saw Douche was sleeping. So I climbed up on the side of the bunk that was next to him, and confirmed that he had my Walkman. So I reached over and grabbed it, and unhooked the headphones. I looked to see what tape he had in it. It was NWA or some other Gangsta Rap type group. I left the tape where the Walkman had been. I couldn’t get the headphones for the other guy though, because Douche was laying on his head on one of the earpieces. However, the Walkman itself was with it’s rightful owner! I was tempted to take the tape too, and leave the Glenn Medeiros one in it’s place. But I didn’t want to be a thief. I just wanted what was rightfully mine.
Would You Believe the Balls on this Guy?
Later on that morning, Douche actually confronted me, and accused me of stealing his Walkman! He even knew the price I paid for it. But, I had my stenciling on the door, and showed him. He said that I probably stenciled after I took it. But, we both knew what really happened. I said, “How do you think I knew where to get it from. Somebody saw you! That’s how!” He saw that the next time he opened his mouth, he was going to get the worst beating of his life, so he backed off. And everybody knew he also stole the big guy’s headphones, so I was also ready to still see some pummeling going on. But, much to my disappointment, big guy was a pansy. He was more of a teddy bear than a grizzly bear, so Douche got away with the headphones.
Gee, I didn’t See That Coming [Sarcasm]
Within the next week, Douche went AWOL. I know. I can’t believe such an upstanding citizen would do something like that, Right?! It turns out, he broke into some lockers, stole money, and got on a plane to New York. Shockingly, Douche came back a couple of weeks later. He was in the barracks, and our commander, who hardly came into the barracks, and found him. And dragged him out for good. I don’t know if he just got kicked out of the Navy with a Dishonorable Discharge, or if he got thrown in the brig/jail.
So, here’s to you Douche! When I hear Glenn Medeiros – and not Gangsta Rap – it reminds me of you!
[twitter-follow screen_name=’returntothe80s’ show_count=’yes’ text_color=’00ccff’]