Quote of the Day 4: A Christmas Story

Mother: [gets on the phone] Hello, Mrs. Schwartz? Yes, I’m fine. Uh, Mrs. Schwartz, do you know what Ralph just said?

[Mrs. Schwartz’s speech is inaudible]

Mother: No, he said…

[whispers it close to the receiver]

Mrs. Schwartz: [in a hysterical tone] NO, NOT THAT!

Mother: Yes, that! Do you know where he heard it?

Mrs. Schwartz: Probably from his father.

Mother: No! He heard it from your son!

Mrs. Schwartz: [screams hysterically] WHAT! WHAT! WHAAAAAAT!

[footsteps are heard followed by screaming and spanking]

Schwartz: [crying] Ah, no! What did I do, Ma? What, I didn’t do nothing! AAAAUUUUGGGGHHH!

[Ralphie’s mom hangs up the phone]

Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Another shot of mysterious, inexorable, official justice.

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