The Rain by Oran “Juice” Jones

by Robert Mishou

In 1986 my best friends (LeRoyce and Marvin) and I fell in love with this song and played it constantly for an entire month. It is not the best song or even our favorite from that decade (that honor probably belongs to Prince’s “Purple Rain”), but we did love this song and the somewhat humorous telling of a story that ends with poetic justice. “The Rain” reached #9 and gave the impression that Jones would be on the charts for a long time, but, like everyone else featured in this series, it was not meant to be – if you gotta have only one hit, though, this is a great one. The story is a simple one: rich boy meets girl – they fall in love – girl fools around – boy drops girl, you know, that old chestnut. The listener is not surprised at the outcome because the song begins with the man finding out about the illicit affair. The song opens with the chorus, “I saw you and him walking rain / You were holding hands and I will never be the same.” So, decision time. He makes the easy and spiteful decision to drop her – but not without a few choice words. This part of the song was our favorite. As I look back on it now, it is a bit silly, but we waited for it every time and just cracked up at this spoken section of the song. After he lets her know he saw her with another man he says:

[I was] So upset with you I don’t know what to do
My first impulse was to run up on you
And do a Rambo
Whip out the jammy and flat-blast both of you
But I ain’t wanna mess up this thirty-seven hundred dollar lynx coat
So instead, I chilled
Instead, he decided to take all of his wealth away from her and leave her with nothing. Then comes our favorite part:
You gotta get on outta here with that
Alley-cat-coat wearin’
Hush-puppy-shoe-wearing’
Crumb cake I saw you with
Cause you dismissed
That’s right, silly rabbit
Tricks are made for kids, don’t you know that?
You without me: like cornflake without the milk
It’s my world–you just a squirrel, tryin’ to get a nut
Now get on outta here – you’re dismissed

Yes, it does seem silly now, but we loved it then.

Hold up, hold up, hold up! DON’T YOU ALL BE CLOSING OUT THIS WINDOW JUST YET!! You just listened to the Juice’s side of the story. This is Miss Thang over here, and now you’re gonna listen to my side of the story! Watchu smiling at, Robert!? So, Oran “Juice” Jones cracks you up? Well, let me tell you somethin’. Juice ain’t nothin’ but a punky, whiny excuse of a man. Woooow! He had one hit! Well so did I. He sang about “The Rain”, which I’m assuming is a metaphor for his tears. Well, I brought the “Thunder & Lightning”.
Check out these lyrics I dropped on him:

You finished now, baby?
Are you finished reading me?
Good
‘Cause I’m gettin’ ready to read, write and erase you

It’s about time you saw me and him walking in the rain
As a matter of fact
That seemed to be the first thing you noticed about me in months
You better sit down, baby
And get out the umbrella
‘Cause there’s gonna be a storm tonight

First things first
Don’t be fronting like you gonna pull no Rambo on me
Because no attitudeless, Jheri curl gigolo jerk
Is gonna put his hands on me

Too get the full affect, why don’t you just take a listen yourself:

Hi Everybody, Paul here. Wow, that Miss Thang came out of nowhere. They don’t make response songs like that anymore. I can’t believe it’s been 30 years since these songs were released!

So, whose side are you on in this battle, Oran “Juice” Jones or Miss Thang? I haven’t done a poll on here in a while.