Sergeant Taggart: What are you doing in a place like this?
Axel Foley: What are you talkin’ about? A place like what?
Sergeant Taggart: A place like this. Swimming pool, Jacuzzi.
Axel Foley: What are you talkin’ about? I’m spoiling myself rotten. Oh, you mean the construction that’s going on. Yes, I’m very embarrassed about that. What I’m trying to do, though, is just confine myself to the other five bedrooms. I’m used to compromising my lifestyle.
Sergeant Taggart: Bullshit! You’ve stolen this house!
Axel Foley: How the fuck can you steal a house? This…my uncle’s house!
Chet: I didn’t think it was a whale’s dick, honey!
Rain Man
[Raymond blows their ruse to get into a farmhouse to watch The People’s Court]
Charlie: That’s it. You blew it. You don’t get to see your program. Finished.
Raymond: One minute to Wapner.
Charlie: Yes, one minute to Wapner. I had you in there, Ray! You were in there! The defendant, the plaintiff, you had it all. They are in there making legal history. *Legal history!*
We welcome Scott Compton back to the show as we geek out over the classic rockumentary, This is Spinal Tap! In the spirit of rock and roll, this episode’s Play this, Not That features Mötley Crüe. There is also a new Remember That Song, and the ’80s Trivia is still up for grabs. Come give us a listen as we walk that fine line between stupid and clever.
Also, feel free to email us your thoughts about Spinal Tap, or anything 80s. We would love to hear from you! We can be reached at returnto80s@gmail.com.
Enough of my yakkin’. Whaddaya say? Let’s boogie!
Opening
– Welcome back, Scott Compton
– We had somebody scheduled to sit in the 4th chair, but he is no longer with us. The official explanation is that he choked on vomit. We just don’t know whose.
– Tesla talk
Shall We Play a Game?
Remember That Song
Last Song: “Sentimental Street” by Night Ranger
I know what you’re thinking / Cause I’ve been there myself / I’ve
been kicked so many times / I don’t know nothing else / Still I noticed your urgency / I recognized the flair / That you got from chasing all those East coast dares
Winner: James Herington
New Song: But I know the neighborhood / The talk is cheap, but the story is good / And tales grow taller on down the line
’80s Trivia
What brokerage firm’s name, when mentioned in TV ads, silenced entire rooms of people?
Play This, Not That
Mötley Crüe
Instead of “Smokin’ in the Boys Room”
Play “Live Wire”
– Mötley Crüe talk
Main Topic: This is Spinal Tap
– Turn it up to 11
– Other Christopher Guest mockumentaries
– Synopsis
– “Big Bottom”
– Scott’s synopsis
– Our take on which bands influenced this movie
– Our favorite scenes (which is basically the entire movie) and lines
– The Curse of the Spinal Tap Drummer
– Awesome pre-CGI flashback scenes
– Supporting cast
– DVD opening
– Spinal Tap lawsuit
– English teacher, Mr. Mishou educates us on the Shelley and Byron reference
– Music
– Jeanine
– Nigel’s guitar solos
– Did people think this was real?
– More of our favorite lines
Hi Everybody! It’s time again for our monthly ’80s crossover event, brought to you by The ’80s League. As you can tell from the title, this month’s selection is on ’80s crushes. As part of this event, we also contributed a podcast episode. Marissa, Robert, and Paul discussed their ’80s crushes. You can download the podcast from iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever else you get your podcasts from. And you can also go to the show notes, and listen directly on this site right here. The picks we made on the podcast will be different from the crushes I list in this article.
In addition to Return to the ’80s, other participants include:
80s Reboot Overdrive Blog and podcast Rediscover the ’80s Realweegiemidget Killer Kitsch
Now, let’s check out more of my ’80s crushes.
Kristy McNichol
In the summer of 1982, there was a movie I, and apparently the rest of the world, wanted to see – E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. It was playing in a nearby theater that only had 2 screens. And E.T. was only showing on one of them. Of course, when we got to the theater, the movie was sold out. Instead, we saw the movie that was being shown on the other screen – The Pirate Movie. I don’t remember knowing about that movie going into it. Coming out, this 11 year old was in love. I thought Kristy McNichol was beautiful, and I was really drawn to her. Several years later, she starred in The Golden Girls spinoff, Empty Nest. And I found that my feelings had not changed. She still made my heart skip a beat.
Unfortunately, Kristy has not really been in anything in almost 20 years. In 2001, she officially announced her retirement from acting. And years after that, I was dealt another crushing blow. Kristy McNichol revealed that she is gay, in the hopes that her openness would help young people who are bullied because of their sexuality. It’s great that she’s open about it now. But, it killed any shot of us ever getting together. Well, as Samantha’s father says in Sixteen Candles, “That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call ’em something else.”
Tracey Gold
Growing Pains is one of my all-time favorite sitcoms. It was already a great show on it’s own. But, my crush on Tracey Gold (and her character, Carol Seaver) didn’t hurt either. I thought she was so cute, and smart. It used to annoy the crap out of me when her brothers picked on her. And this was made even worse when they made fat jokes about her. That’s so stupid as it is. But, she wasn’t even fat, so it made no sense to me. Then to find out that Tracey battled anorexia made things even worse. She even had to miss several episodes of the show due to her condition. Luckily, she was able to recover. Ah, cute, smart, and strong. Not a bad combination
Samantha Fox
Throughout the ’80s, and to this day, my music taste tends to lean toward Rock. I also love me some R&B and old school Rap. But, I got tired of most pop music. That changed with the arrival of Samantha Fox. I thought she was gorgeous. And I actually liked her music too! Her first album, Touch Me, was mostly pop, but some of it had a little rock edge to it. I loved the title track as well as “Do Ya Do Ya (Wanna Please Me)“. Actually, I liked every song on that album. Next was her self-titled album. “Naughty Girls (Need Love Too)” was the first single released in the U.S. The song opens with her saying “Maybe, just maybe
Naughty girls need love too.” in her British accent. Love that accent!
Her third album, I Wanna Have Some Fun, was also a fun album. The title track always got us all out on the dance floor.
I could go on and on with my crushes. But I’ll stop here, and I’d love to hear from you. Who were some of your crushes – real life or celebrity.
Once again please check out the posts from the rest of the 80’s League:
Last Song: “(I Just) Died in Your Arms” by Cutting Crew from the album Broadcast (1986 in the U.K., 1987 in the U.S.)
In the summer of 1982, there was a movie I, and apparently the rest of the world, wanted to see – E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. It was playing in a nearby theater that only had 2 screens. And E.T. was only showing on one of them. Of course, when we got to the theater, the movie was sold out. Instead, we saw the movie that was being shown on the other screen – The Pirate Movie. I don’t remember knowing about that movie going into it. Coming out, this 11 year old was in love. I thought Kristy McNichol was beautiful, and I was really drawn to her. Several years later, she starred in The Golden Girls spinoff, Empty Nest. And I found that my feelings had not changed. She still made my heart skip a beat.
Throughout the ’80s, and to this day, my music taste tends to lean toward Rock. I also love me some R&B and old school Rap. But, I got tired of most pop music. That changed with the arrival of Samantha Fox. I thought she was gorgeous. And I actually liked her music too! Her first album, Touch Me, was mostly pop, but some of it had a little rock edge to it. I loved the 
Return to the 80s 