Category Archives: Comedians

Quote of the Day: Eddie Murphy: Delirious

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Eddie Murphy: There’s something about the icecream truck that makes kids lose it. And they can hear that shit from ten blocks away. They don’t hear their mothers calling but they hear that motherfucking icecream truck.

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Eddie Murphy: Icecream man always drove extra blocks away. And I know he’s seen us and shit, but I think he just be in the car with his friends and say:
[imitating the ice cream man] Watch me how fast I make these motherfuckers run.

If you’d like to get this concert on Amazon, click on the poster below:

Quote of the Day: Eddie Murphy: Delirious

Eddie Murphy: Ice Cream man always drove extra blocks away. And I know he’s seen us and shit, but I think he just be in the car with his friends and say:

Eddie Murphy: [imitating the ice cream man] Watch me how fast I make these motherfuckers run.



35 years ago today (August 30, 1983),
Eddie Murphy: Delirious premiered on HBO.

If you’d like to watch, buy, or rent this movie from Amazon, click on the movie poster below:

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Quote of the Day: Sam Kinison

You want to help world hunger? Stop sending them food. Don’t send them another bite, send them U-Hauls. Send them a guy that says, “You know, we’ve been coming here giving you food for about 35 years now and we were driving through the desert, and we realized there wouldn’t BE world hunger if you people would live where the FOOD IS! YOU LIVE IN A DESERT!! UNDERSTAND THAT? YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT!! NOTHING GROWS HERE! NOTHING’S GONNA GROW HERE! Come here, you see this? This is sand. You know what it’s gonna be 100 years from now? IT’S GONNA BE SAND!! YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT! We have deserts in America, we just don’t LIVE in them, assholes!”

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Quote of the Day: Yakov Smirnoff

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.

Russian men have a saying: “Women are like buses…” That’s it.

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.

Happy 67th birthday to Yakov Smirnoff!!!

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Daily Trivia – 8/23/11

Question: What teen flick gave Anthony Michael Hall the line: “We have seventy dollars and a pair of girls’ underpants. We’re safe as kittens”?


Last Question: What deadpan comic quipped: “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it”?

Answer: Steven Wright

Steven Wright is a unique comedian. He tends to give one-liners – one right after another – that are unconnected. They are often hilarious.
Wright, grew up in Burlington, Massachusetts, and began performing stand-up comedy in 1979 at the Boston comedy club The Comedy Connection.

In 1982, an executive producer of The Tonight Show saw Steven Wright perform at a comedy club in Cambridge. The producer booked him. Wright impressed Johnny Carson so much that he was brought back less than a week later. Here is the performance:

Here is more classic Steven Wright:

Steven Wright still performs today, and has his own web site.

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Daily Trivia – 8/19/11

Question: What Yale Law School valedictorian, playing a teacher in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, easily ad-libbed his economics lecture in the film?


Last Question: What comedian penned the book America on Six Rubles a Day

Answer: Yakov Smirnoff

“What a Country!” Yakov Smirnoff was a comedian who came from the Soviet Union to the United States. In his routine, he often compared life in the Soviet Union to America, and misunderstanding American lfe and customs. For instance:

“The first time I went to a restaurant, they asked me ‘How many in your party?’ and I said ‘Six hundred million’.”

Upon being offered work as a barman on a “graveyard shift”, he remarks, ‘A bar in a cemetery! What a country! Last call? During Happy Hour the place must be dead.’

In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watch you!

In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law break you!

Despite the Cold War being over, Yakov Smirnoff still performs today. He owns a theater in Branson, Missouri.

Here is a classic set from Smirnoff. He is being introduced by the legendary Rodney Dangerfield:

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