King Arnulf: [Hy-Brasil is sinking, everything is collapsing and exploding] Everyone stay calm! This is not happening!
R.I.P. Terry Jones (1 February 1942 – 20 January 2020)
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Jack Burton: [tapping on the walls] Two, three feet thick, I’ll bet. Probably welded shut from the outside, and covered with brick by now!
Wang Chi: Don’t give up, Jack!
Jack Burton: Oh, okay, I won’t, Wang! Let’s just *chew* our way outta here.
Happy 72nd Birthday to John Carpenter!!!
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Ronny Cammareri: I’m in love with you.
Loretta Castorini: [slaps him twice] Snap out of it!
Happy 56th birthday to Nicolas Cage!!!
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Happy 88th birthday to Dabney Coleman!!!
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Billy Ray Valentine: [after breaking a vase] Hey, sorry about that.
Randolph Duke: It’s perfectly all right William. It was your vase.
Billy Ray Valentine: That was a cheap vase, right? That was a fake? Right?
Randolph Duke: I believe we paid $35,000. But if I remember correctly, we valued it for the insurance company at $50,000. You see, Mortimer? William has already made us $15,000.
[Coleman, Mortimer, Randolph, and Billy Ray start laughing]
Billy Ray Valentine: You want me to break something else?
Randolph Duke , Mortimer Duke , Coleman: NO!
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Mitch: You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning…
Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Mitch: No…
Chris Knight: Why am I the only one who has that dream?
Happy 60th Birthday to Val Kilmer!!!
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Remo Williams: You know, Chiun, you’re a real pain in the ass.
Chiun: That is because it is the shortest route to your brain!
Happy 77th Birthday to Fred Ward!!!
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Happy 50th birthday to Kristy Swanson!!!
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[Bill Cosby has called Eddie to complain about bad language in Eddie’s act]
Eddie Murphy: Now I can’t have no ‘curse’ show, I mean I gotta throw in a few jokes in between the curses, I can’t come out and go “Hello! Filth flar’n filth, motherfucker, dick, pussy, snot, and shit. Good night! Suck my dick!”
Eddie Murphy: Raw was released in theaters on this day 32 years ago (December 18, 1987)
