Category Archives: Television

Quote of the Day: Jesse “The Body” Ventura

Jesse Ventura commenting on Uncle Elmer kissing his wife: “They look like two carp in the Mississippi River going after the same piece of corn.”
Uncle Elmer Wedding

 

“Dusty Rhodes wouldn’t win a body building contest for best abs, MacMahon, he’d win for MOST abs.”

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“The pleasure was all yours”

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“Win if you can, lose is you must, but ALWAYS cheat!”

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Happy 68th birthday to Jesse “The Body” Ventura!!!

 

 

Quote of the Day: Late Night with David Letterman

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Cher: I never thought I’d want to do this show with you.
David Letterman: Now why?
David Letterman: Now let’s explore this a little. Why? Because you thought I was a…
Cher: An asshole

33 years ago today (May 22, 1986), Cher called David Letterman an asshole on Late Night.

Quote of the Day: Dorf on Golf

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Dorf: Now Leonard, with dat well-trained caddy eye of yours, how far would you say we are from da nearest hole?

[Leonard takes a long moment to look far across the course.]

Leonard: Far.


Dorf: Leonard, why don’t you consider getting to bed a little early tonight? You wouldn’t want to miss a visit from the IQ fairy.


R.I.P. Tim Conway (December 15, 1933 – May 14, 2019)

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Quote of the Day: M*A*S*H

[Hawkeye was telling Dr. Sidney Freedman about what he initially thought was a chicken clucking inside the bus]

Dr. Sidney Freedman: Then what happened?

Hawkeye: Then I went back toward the front of the bus.

Dr. Sidney Freedman: And what happened next?

Hawkeye: There’s something wrong with it. It stopped making noise. It just–just stopped.

[pauses]

Hawkeye: She-she killed it! She killed it!

Dr. Sidney Freedman: She killed the chicken?

Hawkeye: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I didn’t mean for her to kill it.

[sobbing]

Hawkeye: I did not–I–I just wanted it to be quiet. It was–it was a baby! She, she smothered her own baby.

[pauses]

Hawkeye: You son of a bitch, why did you make me remember that?

Dr. Sidney Freedman: You had to get it out in the open. Now we’re halfway home.

The series finale of M*A*S*H aired on this day, 36 years ago (February 28, 1983). Over 125 million tuned in to watch! To this day, it is the largest audience for any television series (excluding sports and news events) ever. It is still the standard of which every television series finale is compared.

You can get the complete series from Amazon by clicking on the box set below:

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Quote of the Day: Ric Flair

“I’m Ric Flair! The Stylin’, profilin’, limousine riding, jet flying, kiss-stealing, wheelin’ n’ dealin’ son of a gun!”

“To be that man, you’ve got to beat the man. Woooo!”

Happy 70th Birthday to Ric Flair!!!

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