Helen: It sounds like a boy Garry’s age needs a man around the house.
Tod: Well, it depends on the man. I had a man around. He used to wake me up every morning by flicking lit cigarettes at my head. He’d say, “Hey, asshole, get up and make me breakfast.” You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish! But they’ll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.
Parenthood was released in theaters 30 years ago today (August 2, 1989).
If you’d like to get this movie from Amazon, click on the movie poster below:
Helen: [whimpers as she flips through the stack of sex photos of Julie and Tod]
[Julie enters the room and Helen holds up a picture]
Helen: I… I… I think this this one is my favorite.
Julie: It was just for fun, Mom.
Helen: Well, I’m glad to know it’s not a job. That’s that Tod, isn’t it? There’s one with his face.
[as she looks closer at the photos]
Julie: Is that what bothers you? That I did those things? Or that I did those things with Tod?
Helen: Gee whiz, Julie, so many things bother me about this, I don’t know where to separate them.
[holds up a different photo]
Helen: Oh! Whoo! Here’s something for my wallet!
Julie: Tod is very important to me.
Helen: And we’ve got the photos to prove it!
[as she holds up the sex photos again]
Helen: [looking again at the photos] This is your room. You did these things right here? In my house?
Julie: Well, I thought someone in this house ought to be having sex. I mean with something that doesn’t require batteries.
Julie: [door slams as Tod leaves after having a fight with Julie] If he thinks I’m having his baby now, he’s crazy!
Helen: [shocked] Baby?
George Bowman: Your daughter’s having a baby?
Helen: [even more shocked] A baby?
George Bowman: You’re going to be a grandma?
Helen: [laughs incredulously] No, no, no, no. I’m too young to be a grandmother. Grandmothers are old. They bake, and they sew, and they tell you stories about the Depression.
Helen: I was at Woodstock, for Christ’s sake! I peed in a field! I hung on to The Who’s helicopter as it flew away!
George Bowman: I was at Woodstock.
Helen: [shouts] Oh yeah? I thought you looked familiar!
Happy 62nd birthday to director Ron Howard!!!