You want to help world hunger? Stop sending them food. Don’t send them another bite, send them U-Hauls. Send them a guy that says, “You know, we’ve been coming here giving you food for about 35 years now and we were driving through the desert, and we realized there wouldn’t BE world hunger if you people would live where the FOOD IS! YOU LIVE IN A DESERT!! UNDERSTAND THAT? YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT!! NOTHING GROWS HERE! NOTHING’S GONNA GROW HERE! Come here, you see this? This is sand. You know what it’s gonna be 100 years from now? IT’S GONNA BE SAND!! YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT! We have deserts in America, we just don’t LIVE in them, assholes!”
Professor Terguson: You remember that thing we had about 30 years ago called the Korean conflict? And how we failed to achieve victory? How come we didn’t cross the 38th parallel and push those rice-eaters back to the Great Wall of China? Professor Terguson: [rips a desk apart] Then take the fucking wall apart
[shouts] Professor Terguson: brick by brick and nuke them back into the fucking stone age forever? Tell me why! How come? Say it! Say it! Thornton Melon: [incensed] All right. I’ll say it. ‘Cause Truman was too much of a *pussy wimp* to let MacArthur go in there
[shouts] Thornton Melon: and blow out those Commie bastards! Professor Terguson: Good answer. Good answer. I like the way you think. I’m gonna be watching you. Thornton Melon: [chuckling to his classmates] Good teacher. He really seems to care. About what I have no idea.
Return to the 80s 