Lt. Mauser: Any day now, Mahoney, and your little ass is mine.

Mahoney: You wanted to see me, sir?

Lt. Mauser: Mahoney, didn’t your mother teach you how to knock?

Mahoney: It depends. Sir? I hope this isn’t going to be too personal? I heard what you said about my little butt and I don’t know how to break this to you, sir, but I’m straight.

Happy 57th Birthday to the Goot, Steve Guttenberg!!!